


see you again

by hiraethia



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Gen, Goodbyes, Hugs, M/M, bby is graduating, happy and sad, neil's last year at psu, softness and sadness, they're not fun, wymack is his father figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14850224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiraethia/pseuds/hiraethia
Summary: for a runaway, neil has never found saying goodbyes this hard before.(alternatively, neil has to say goodbye to the one person he'd never truly prepared himself to leave in the first place).





	see you again

**Author's Note:**

> for jg
> 
> title is from 'see you again' by wiz khalifa/charlie puth

After Andrew had graduated, Neil thought that the worst was over. 

He knew saying goodbye to Andrew would be hard - harder than parting from the upperclassmen for sure - and he'd barely managed to get through it. It would be his first year completely alone, without any of the original Foxes at his side, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't pretty terrified.

But all he said to Andrew the night before his graduation was a quiet, "I'll miss you." 

He'd stared back at Neil, hazel eyes dark gold in the sunset, and cupped his face. "Idiot. I'm not going anywhere."

They'd kissed as the sun sank beyond the highways, the scent of cigarette smoke and daydreams lingering with Neil long after they'd fallen asleep.

The upperclassmen had all returned to celebrate Andrew, Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin's graduations. Allison had hugged Neil tight enough that he swore he broke a few ribs when she saw him again.

"I thought you hated him," Neil had said offhandedly when Allison started shouting and cheering at the top of her lungs as Andrew and Aaron consecutively took to the stage to receive their diplomas. She'd turned to Neil with the brightest grin on her face, unusually soft for someone as sharp as she was.

"He made it when he thought he wouldn't, just like we all did. Doesn't matter if I hate him or not," she said sagely. Then she ruffled Neil's hair affectionately. "This'll be you next year, Bambi."

And it was.

Neil made it through his last year at Palmetto State with nearly daily calls with Andrew and the rest of the Foxes, and a take-no-shit attitude as the captain of the new Foxes team. He'd managed to earn the begrudging respect of his teammates by proving himself (unnecessarily) time and time again, enough so that even Jack stopped defying Neil's every order or move. The old Foxes returned to cheer them on at whatever games they could make it to. And whenever Andrew was off from his pro-team's schedule, he'd visit Neil and they'd drive aimlessly down the highways until the car nearly ran out of gas.

It was okay. Neil was almost looking forward to graduation. He'd already been selected to a pro team and things were looking brighter than he ever could've imagined.

And then he blinked, and he was graduating in just a day, and somehow all his excitement and anticipation was gone. It had disappeared, leaving his chest empty and hurting.

He'd been sitting with Wymack at his apartment late into the night, looking over the final tapes of next year's recruits, when it finally hit.

Wymack leaned back, shutting the laptop and rubbing his eyes. The TV was on in the background, quietly playing some game show as they finished looking at the freshmen's files.

"Thanks for staying, kid, but you'd better go," he said, glancing at his watch. "You've got graduation tomorrow."

Neil had been feeling heavy and off the entire day, for some reason, but hearing Wymack's words felt like a sudden twist to the knife he hadn't known was in his chest.

He'd always known that the upperclassmen would have to leave. He was somewhat prepared for that - between Allison's multiple visits, Dan and Renee's constant calls and friendship, and Matt's endless promises to keep in touch and hangout whenever he could, Neil could cope with them leaving. 

He'd always known that Andrew and his lot would eventually have to leave too. They were a year above him, after all. But Andrew had proven to him time and time again that nothing could make him leave, not even the worst, most brutal, ugliest and broken parts of Neil. 

The Foxes were Neil's first family, and he'd known that despite the distance and his own fears, they wouldn't be separated.

But he'd never thought about having to leave Wymack behind. 

(It was different, really. Wymack was the first, the _very_ first, person to toss him a key and tell him to come and go whenever he liked. He'd always been there for Neil, always had been a rock whenever Neil broke, always put him back together without question the best he could. Perhaps Neil was so blindsided with leaving him because he'd forgotten that Wymack couldn't leave with him).

He'd shown to Neil that it wasn't such a bad thing to stay in one place. He'd taught him to open up his own doors, to let others come and go, to even stay a night or two - and more often it was peace and contentedness coming to visit him, rather than panic or fear or nightmares. 

Andrew had given Neil a key and called it home - but Wymack had done it first. He'd kept Neil even though all Neil did was cause more and more trouble for him. He'd let Neil stay even though it would put him in the path of the bullet, of the knife and cleaver - and he'd accepted the challenge with stride. 

He'd given Neil a place in his home even though all Neil seemingly did was destroy it, without even batting an eye.

(He'd saved him, after all).

"Neil? You're spacing out on me."

He blinked, and much to his disappointment, that pain in his chest was still there. Quickly packing away any emotions that might've shown on his face, Neil nodded and set aside the files in his hands.

"I should go."

Wymack raised an eyebrow. "That's what I said about five minutes ago, but okay." He turned and started organizing the files they'd set aside of the better players they'd found. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, kid."

Neil stood up abruptly, mumbling a goodbye, and nearly tripped over himself in his haste to grab his coat and leave. Everything in his body felt too tight just then - it was hard to breathe.

He was almost at the doorway when he hesitated.

Something terrible tugged at his throat, threatening to choke him, as he stared at the back of Wymack's head. He was mumbling something to himself, his words drowned out by the sound of papers being shuffled and thrown away. 

Neil suddenly felt sick with painful nostalgia - like he'd somehow finished the movie that was his life here at Palmetto, but he didn't have the script to properly end it.

It was so painful, so dizzying, that Neil knew if he stepped out the door without a word, he'd never be able to forget it.

He cleared his throat. "Coach?"

Wymack grunted from the couch. "What, Josten?"

Neil swallowed harshly. His voice trembled and cracked on its way out. "I don't want to go."

(He _hated_ how pathetically childish he sounded just then).

((The first time he'd said something like that to his mother, after the fifth city they'd stopped at, she'd beaten him black and blue)).

Wymack paused for a long, endless moment, before shutting the TV and standing up. He slowly made his way over to Neil, stopping a few paces in front of him and crossing his arms.

"Most people are glad to graduate, Josten," he said gruffly.

Neil looked away, almost in shame. For a brief, dizzying moment, he remembered another time they'd stood like this. Neil had just dropped Wymack's coffee grounds after blowing his arms out, and he'd thought Wymack was going to hit him. It was the first time he'd seen that ugly part of Neil unearth itself, just a little, but just enough.

The memory nearly knocked him off his feet. He cleared his throat, wringing his hands behind his back. "I don't - I'm - " 

Of course his words failed him at his most important moments. Neil shut his eyes while Wymack looked on patiently, trying to get his shit together. Something painful pricked behind his eyes, spreading all the way down to his chest as he did so.

His breath shuddered on its way in. Neil cleared his throat - it kind of hurt to breathe. His head hurt too, an ache building behind his temples as he worked his jaw. He wrung his hands, unsure of what to do with them.

Words usually came easily to Neil as soon as he opened his mouth. He didn't need to think - it just fell right out. So that was what he decided to do after another minute of silence: just talk.

"You kept me when you should've thrown me away the first chance you got," Neil said. He started shakily at first, and Wymack took a step forward like he wanted to shut him up right there, but he barreled on. "You didn't bat an eye when I showed up with the mob at my back or when the FBI tried to take me away. I've let you down multiple times, I could have done better so many times, but you just told me to pick up the pieces and keep going.

"No one has looked at me and thought there was something worth saving. But you - you were the first, and I - I trust you. I didn't know I could.

"What I'm trying to say is," Neil said quietly, avoiding Wymack's gaze, "you're more than my coach. You - you were a better father to me than he ever was or could have been. You taught me how to - love my place in the world. A-And - I can't possibly thank you enough for that."

The silence that followed between them stretched for an eternity. Neil chewed his lip harshly, digging his nails into his skin as he waited for Wymack's response. 

He was tempted to just leave when Wymack finally spoke.

"Goodbyes fucking suck, Josten," Wymack said slowly. Neil could tell he was choosing his words carefully. "I wish you didn't have to learn the hard way. But you're a fucking idiot if you think I'm going to forget about you the minute you leave. This?" He jabbed a finger between them. "This doesn't end the moment you get your diploma, or the moment you start your first game as a pro, or the moment you retire. If I wanted to get rid of you I would've done so a long time ago. 

"I knew you had potential when I saw you, and not because Kevin kept blabbering my ear off about you. It wasn't just the way you played like it was the last game of your life. It was the way you would latch onto anything you find worth giving a shit about, and the way you would lay down your life for it. That's the type of person I want on this team. Minus the constant feud with the press - but that's just part of the package deal at this point.

"I got to watch you grow for the past five years and there's not a single fucking thing I'd do to take back that time. I got to watch you find your place in the world and in here, and I'm more than happy that I got to witness the process." Wymack crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side. "Tell me, Josten. Do I look like the kind of person to just forget someone like you?"

_No._

But Neil had been made to be forgotten. He hoarded all his memories of others in dusty cardboard boxes, crammed in the empty bedrooms and hollow shell he'd called an existence, while he was content to fade from the minds of others.

But Wymack had made him solid, made him real. Forced him to be memorable. Took a picture of Neil and hung it in the walls of his own home.

 _Oh, I'll remember you all right,_ said Wymack's hard eyes. _Do you remember you?_

He squeezed his eyes shut. Wymack had asked him a question, and was waiting on an answer.

"No," he managed to say out loud.

"That's right," Wymack said. "So I don't see why you're not excited to graduate already."

Neil forced himself to shrug. His eyes burned uncomfortably.

Wymack's voice was quieter when he next spoke.

"You made it, Josten. That's all I wanted," he said. "And if my time here, these past years, has taught me anything, it's that you've got to move on. And it's okay, I forgive you."

Neil swallowed harshly again. Then after a moment more of hesitance, he stepped forward within arm's reach. Wymack watched him carefully as he grew lost in his own thought for a long minute.

Then, he tentatively leaned forward to rest his forehead against Wymack's chest.

Almost subconsciously, he waited for the hits to come. For the hands to come shoving him away, the curses and the fists raised to punish him for ever daring to step so close, and - 

Wymack's hand rested on the back of his neck, patting him lightly. Almost gently.

"Just as long as you don't leave me alone too long with these freshmen, Josten," he said after a while, his voice rumbling in his chest. "You and your lot. Abby's been making me cut back on my drinking."

"Yes, Coach," Neil murmured. 

And if a few tears pricked at Neil's eyes and fell against Wymack's shirt - neither of them said a damn thing.

\-- 

_I think if there's anything to learn from the books we've read this year: it's that we've got to move on. I planted you, and now you've got to grow._

**Author's Note:**

> hi. i had to say goodbye to a teacher who i love and value a lot, who is more a mentor to me than a teacher, today with my school year ending. so it's #projection time. what neil says is kinda basically what i wanted to say. highkey cried multiple times while writing this 
> 
> the ending line is a quote from my teacher himself i just rly wanted to put that in there 
> 
> thanks for reading/any comments and kudos are appreciated <3


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